Dad jokes = the best jokes.
"Don’t be disgusting"
how is a toaster delivered in theory
"so what are your plans for after college?"
i will dismantle the establishment board by board
*listens to arctic monkeys for the first time*
*5 minutes later*
sad? watch the mighty boosh
happy? watch the mighty boosh
sleepy? watch the mighty boosh
horny? watch the mighty boosh
watch the mighty boosh
talk dirty to me
So I was travelling and I had a backpack with me which had a notebook, my purse, a bottle of coke and like 2 maxi pads for vagina reasons
After travelling for a few hours I reached into my bag to grab my purse and it was sticky and the unopened coke bottle was empty
I was feeling my bag expecting a pool of coke at the bottom and why it hadn’t leaked out of my bag and it turns oUT MY MAXI PADS ABSORBED AN ENTIRE FUCKING BOTTLE OF COKE
#just girly things
i would pay a lot of money for a complete list of everyone who’s ever had a crush on me
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